| | I'm not exactly Suzy Homemaker, but its hard to get the cat to do anything around the house. Therefore, domestic duties here tend to fall on me. That's okay.
To make a long story (that some of you already know) a heck of a lot shorter, my house once belonged to my parents before my mom passed away and my dad eventually remarried and moved out of it. I've been here for several years now, but I've never thought of this place as my home. I don't often set foot in the room my mom died in (the master bedroom), not because I'm afraid of it or anything, I just don't feel like I belong there. It's hard to explain.
Thursday I got involved in rearranging some stuff and getting rid of some garbage in the house, when I realized that I have a big closet in that master bedroom with quite a bit of space I can utilize for storage. Problem is, that closet has been used for storage for several years. It's been storing a bunch of stuff of Mom's, stuff that I wasn't really hanging on to for sentimental reasons, but that I had been avoiding throwing away. Thursday - as much because I needed the space, as because it was just time - I tore into that closet and threw away mounds of things that I had no attachment to. Junk, mainly. I also found a couple things that were actually worth hanging onto, things I had forgotten were here. Nothing major. It's kind of hard to explain why I had been reluctant to get in there and throw that stuff away. I guess I still feel like the stuff is hers, just like I still feel like the house is hers, rather than mine. But in the end, there are things that are okay to hang on to for sentimental purposes, and things that just don't have that worth.
At the end of the day, it was really just about coming to terms with the fact that it's okay to let go. It's something I had already known, but that was reaffirmed by the weight that was lifted off my shoulders when I actually tossed the stuff in the garbage. 'Cause I know where Mom is, and I know where she's not. Her memory and her impact are far too profound to be relegated to a pile of old things stuffed in a closet and forgotten with time. We would all do well if someday the same can be said for us.
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| | Posted 2/28/2009 8:52 PM - 24 Views - 10 eProps - 5 comments
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